mind's eye = introspective lexis

AGONY

angelbetz — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 07:03:36 +0000

♥ It’s depressing, receiving txt messages of predictions of when will the results be posted. Everytime they tell me “uy ngaun daw ata lalabas”, my heart jumps and in a moment there and i felt my heart go in asystole, it’s annoying. Really. I just want to get this over with, I want to just see the results! Whether I pass or fail, it doesn’t matter as long as the agony of waiting stops. Pero I would be happy if I would pass, nakakahiya pag hindi eh =( ♥

♥ I kept on praying for God to help me pass and I hope it will happen, I really want to go on with my life already, the past 2 months of waiting was like my life stopped, stagnated. Nakakaburyong hayst. ♥

Anyways….I just thought I would update my blogs…haha lol

Walang magawa!!!

unprepared

angelbetz — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:27:26 +0000

ya i know, it’s a day before the "most awaited at the same time hated" review session for the PNLE, and damn, I am not ready yet. I mean, I should have taken the June exams and be done with it, but yeah, I freaked out, thanks to my parents who constantly bombarded me with their famous and irritating lines of "dapat magtop ka, nakakahiya pag hindi". Well, FYI? My older sister took the Medicine board exams last saturday and as usual, without questions asked, she nailed it. Gad, if there was a difference between us? It’s her study habits. Screw study habits. We both graduated valedictorian in our primary and secondary schools, she graduated with merits in her Medical Technology course, got a 97 score in her NMAT exams and landed on a good medical school, in which I must say, she graduated medicine with 2nd honors, was granted an internship program in UP-PGH (which lang naman, is where the cream of the crop aspiring doctors go to) and was awarded, 2nd best intern in Obstetrics. Oo na, Oo na, wala akong laban. lol. Haller, she’s a doctor, I’m a nurse. Alalay lang niya ako and I admit she knows more than I do. What bothers me lang is the way my parents treat me is way different from the way they treat her. They compare me to her…lagi. They are so proud of her for nailing her exams, nakow but me? I am so LAZY to even open a book. Yeah many people don’t believe that i don’t actually study. lol. FYI, I don’t. Believe it or not, I’m a lazy student. I like the cramming style of studying, gives me the feeling of adrenaline rush of some sort. Nagtataka sila, coz I graduated Nursing cum laude and top of the batch, with leadership awards. Sometimes, I think that I don’t deserve it really. Many students are really more deserving than me, because, they study well. I’m a pessimist sometimes, so I talk a lot about negativisim, sorry. haha. Anyways, back to review. I wish this could change something in me, I mean, give me motivation to study. My dad believes I can nail it if only I read and study my books. Pero I don’t want them to pressure me, para sa akin, passing is enough. I am not expecting more like topping it or something. There are 150,000 more who are really good. But yeah, I promise them that I’ll study. No chatting muna, no TV, no going out and yes, no bf. I want to get this over with…and one day say, "been there, done that, I’m a registered nurse!" haha. (well, i will take my masterals, that’s for sure) lol

the end of the world

angelbetz — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:36:07 +0000

We had
our Jurisprudence class with Ma’am Quinto, she mentioned something
about global warming and its effects, she told us that she read
something about the "end of the world" by 2012. I was really scared for
if that was true, we have only 4 years to live. I can’t sleep that
night so I decided to research about that theory myself. So far, I got
this from the internet.

I
watched a video about it, it said there that how the earth were formed
is far from what we learned and what religion told us to be true. The
video showed that sons of YAHWEH (fallen angels) went to earth and lusted on females as what was stated in
Genesis in the bible. The result of their mating were the Nephilim
(giants), high breed giants who had great height, some ranging from 8
feet to 36 feet. These were the giants found in different places on
earth lately. The 36 foot giant was found in Saudi Arabia, but was kept
secret. However, many pictures were taken by their government.

It was said that these giants were killed by the great flood that
happened millions of years ago, but some survived and went back to
their planet, NIBIRU and called
themselves, annunaki. Well, so far for what I’ve read, I learned a lot.
We all know that the Sumerians were the ones who lived in ancient
times, they had written everything
about this but in 1976, someone translated all of it. They say that
NIBURU revolves in an elliptical orbit from its place until the sun,
and it will come nearest to earth. By then, its great gravitational pull would creat pole shifts of earth making it stop to
rotate for a while and then the poles would shift. This will cause
great destrcution like tsunamis as high as 3 miles, earthquakes greater
than intensity 10, great flood and disappearance or most likely sinking
of several countries near coastal areas, sad to say, Philippines is a country surrounded by water.

With
regards to the pole shift, many people say that in 2012, the earth’s
north pole and south pole would shift. Thus, great destruction is near
us and we are in perile.

MAP OF THE WORLD AFTER POLE SHIFT

It’s
not clear, but the black spots are those place which will sink, in the
Philippines, the Visayas would sink…oh my God, I am praying right now.

But before anything else, let me share the history of the so called PLANET X, NIBIRU, or the 12th PLANET

WHAT IS NIBURU?

Andy
Lloyd, author of "The Dark Star", presents a fascinating new theory
about our Sun’s binary or companion and the famed Niburu,
based on the work of Zechariah Sitchin’s "The Twelfth Planet". Lloyd
believes that there is a failed star or sun circling our own with a
cometary orbit beginning just outside the Kuiper Belt at 60 to 70
AU and stretching all the way out to the Inner Oort Cloud. Its orbital
period is at least three sars or 10,800 years which is very close to
what astronomers have given to Sedna’s orbit. It orbits more or less on the same plane as the Sun and in the same direction as our solar system planets.

What
is really unique about his theory is that this dark star has its own
planets, the first five minor, the sixth an Earth-sized Homeworld, and
the seventh the planet or object we call Nibiru. The Homeworld
is much like Earth and is where our Annunaki "gods" live. Nibiru is
largely uninhabitable and acts more as a ship or battle station.
When the dark star is at perihelion(closest approach to our sun) at 60
to 70 AU, Nibiru’s orbit, which is at 60 AU from its parent, has a wide
enough orbit to cut through our solar system, usually in the vicinity
of Jupiter’s orbit, although this can vary. Nibiru’s orbital inclination is some 30 degrees to our solar plane or ecliptic.

As
Nibiru cuts through our solar system in retrograde motion to the other
planets it performs its various duties such as displacing or replacing
planets and causing general havoc in the process. Its passage is
momentous but short taking only a few weeks or months at most, after which it dissapears from view. It is fiery red in color
with a debris-filled tail, and circling it are a number of moons which
it sometimes uses as weapons to pound other planets. Nibiru or its
moons were responsible for such feats as the destruction of Maldek and
other planets which are now asteroid belts; the craters or
surface scars on the Moon or planets of our solar system, as well as
their varying axial tilts and orbits; the sinking of Atlantis and
Noah’s Flood; and God knows what else. It is the physical link or
"ferry" between our solar system and the dark star system.
As
I said a while ago, Niburu’s magnetic field is so strong it could
create irregularities in the orbit of the planets near it, in the above
picture it would pass by, and since the earth has an asteroid belt near
it, Niburu could create dislodgement of the asteroid belt, making it
strike earth in a mass. So scary!!!

NIBURU’s HISTORY

Is Niburu Approaching? http://paranormal.about.com/library/weekly/aa021102b.htm

Also known as The Twelfth Planet or Planet X, some are warning that this wandering body is quickly nearing the Earth - and could cause global devastation.

In 1976, Zecharia Sitchin stirred up a great deal of controversy with the publication of his book, The Twelfth Planet.
In this and subsequent books, Sitchin presented his literal
translations of ancient Sumerian texts which told an incredible story
about the origins of humankind on planet Earth - a story far different
and much more fantastic than what we all learned in school.

The
ancient cuneiform texts - some of the earliest known writing, dating
back some 6,000 years - told the story of a race of beings called the Anunnaki.
The Anunnaki came to Earth from a planet in our solar system called
Nibiru, according to the Sumerians via Sitchin. If you’ve never heard
of it, that’s because mainstream science does not recognize Nibiru as
one of the planets that revolves around our Sun. Yet it is there,
claims Sitchin, and its presence holds great importance not only for
humankind’s past, but our future as well.

Nibiru’s
orbit around the Sun is highly elliptical, according to Sitchin’s
books, taking it out beyond the orbit of Pluto at its farthest point
and bringing it as close to the Sun as the far side of the asteroid
belt (a ring of asteroids that is known to occupy a band of space
between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter). It takes Nibiru 3,600 years to
complete one orbital journey, and it was last in this vicinity around
160 B.C.E. As you can imagine, the gravitational effects of a sizable
planet moving close to the inner solar system, as it is claimed for
Nibiru, could wreak havoc on the orbits of other planets, disrupt the
asteroid belt and spell big trouble for planet Earth.

Well,
prepare for yet another possible apocalypse because, they say, Nibiru
is once again heading this way - and will be here soon.

A Bit of History

The story of the Anunnaki is told in Sitchin’s many books and is digested, augmented and speculated about in dozens of websites. But the tale is essentially this: About 450,000 years ago, Alalu, the deposed ruler of the Anunnaki
on Nibiru, escaped the planet on a spaceship and found refuge on Earth.
He discovered that Earth had plenty of gold, which Nibiru needed to
protect its diminishing atmosphere. They began to mine Earth’s gold,
and there were a lot of political battles among the Anunnaki for power. Then around 300,000 years or so ago, the Anunnaki
decided to create a race of workers by genetically manipulating the
primates on the planet. The result was homo sapiens - us. Eventually,
rulership of the Earth was handed over to humans and the Anunnaki
left, at least for the time being. Sitchin ties all this - and much
more - into the stories of the first books of the Bible and the
histories of other ancient cultures, especially Egyptian. (Here’s a
good time chart of the alleged events.)

It’s an astonishing story, to say the least. Most historians,
anthropologists and archeologists consider it all Sumerian myth, of
course. But Sitchin’s work has created a diehard cadre of believers and
researchers who take the story at face value. And some of them, whose
ideas are getting widespread attention thanks to the Internet, contend
that the return of Nibiru is close at hand - possibly as soon as
somewhere between 2003 and 2013!

Where Is Nibiru and When Will It Arrive?

Even mainstream astronomers have long speculated
that there may be an unknown planet - a Planet X - somewhere out beyond
the orbit of Pluto that would account for the anomalies they were
detecting in the orbits of Neptune and Uranus. Some unseen body seems
to be tugging at them. The finding was reported in the June 19, 1982 edition of the New York Times:

Something
out there beyond the furthest reaches of the known solar system is
tugging at Uranus and Neptune. A gravitational force keeps perturbing
the two giant planets, causing irregularities in their orbits. The
force suggests a presence far away and unseen, a large object, the
long-sought Planet X. Astronomers are so certain of this planet’s
existence that they have already named it "Planet X - the 10th Planet."

The anomalous body was first spotted in 1983 by IRAS (Infrared Astronomical Satellite), according to news stories. The Washington Post reported: "A
heavenly body possibly as large as the giant planet Jupiter and
possibly so close to Earth that it would be part of this solar system
has been found in the direction of the constellation Orion by an
orbiting telescope aboard the U.S. infrared astronomical satellite. So
mysterious is the object that astronomers do not know if it is a
planet, a giant comet, a nearby ‘protostar’ that never got hot enough
to become a star, a distant galaxy so young that it is still in the
process of forming its first stars or a galaxy so shrouded in dust that
none of the light cast by its stars ever gets through."

Nibiru supporters contend that IRAS has, in fact, spotted the wandering planet.

"A Mystery Revolves Around the Sun,"
an article posted by MSNBC on October 7, 1999 said: "Two teams of
researchers have proposed the existence of an unseen planet or a failed
star circling the sun at a distance of more than 2 trillion miles, far
beyond the orbits of the nine known planets… Planetary scientist at
Britain’s Open University, speculates that the object could be a planet
larger than Jupiter." And in December, 2000, SpaceDaily reported on "Another Candidate For ‘Planet X’ Spotted."

Another article and photo appeared in Discovery News: "Large Object Discovered Orbiting Sun."
The article, published in July, 2001, says, "The discovery of a large
reddish chunk of something orbiting in Pluto’s neighborhood has
re-ignited the idea that there may be more than nine planets in the
solar system." Naming it 2001 KX76. the discoverers estimate that it is
smaller than our Moon and might have an elongated orbit, but they gave
no indication that it was heading this way.

Mark Hazelwood,
who has a large website warning about the impending arrival of Nibiru
and how we should prepare for it, suggests that all of these news
stories lend credence to the existence of the Anunnaki’s Nibiru
(although none of the articles said the celestial body was heading
toward Earth). But Hazelwood says his research indicates that Nibiru
will be here in the Spring of 2003, though he isn’t specific about how
he arrived at that precise time period. This website about Planet X
narrows it down even further to "late Spring or early Summer of 2003,
probably May or June," although they don’t specify their reasoning
either.

Andy Lloyd
isn’t as pessimistic - or at least his calculations are different.
Since he speculates that Nibiru was actually the Star of Bethlehem seen
about 2,000 years ago, "the problem faced by humanity as Nibiru again
enters the planetary zone will fall to our descendants 50 generations
hence."

But Kent Steadman at the Sentinal section
of Cyberspaceorbit.com is tracking Nibiru based on the Spring/Summer
2003 scenario and offers several star charts, timetables and other
illustrations that show where Planet X will supposedly cross the inner
solar system.

What Will Be the Effects on Earth?

As
stated before, the gravitational pull of a planet entering the inner
solar system would have profound effects on the other orbiting bodies,
including Earth. In fact, the Anunnaki story says that a previous
appearance of Nibiru was responsible for the "Great Flood" recorded in
Genesis, in which nearly all life on our planet was extinguished (but
saved, thanks to Noah). Going even further back, some researchers into
this topic suspect that Nibiru once even collided with Earth millions of years ago, creating the asteroid belt and resulting in the enormous gouges in our planet that the oceans now fill.

Mark
Hazelwood and others say that Earth is in for some massive and
catastrophic changes as Nibiru approaches. Floods, earthquakes,
volcanic eruptions, a pole shift and other natural disasters will be so
severe, Hazelwood says, that "only a few hundred million people will
survive." Another site says the gravitational pull of Nibiru might even
stop the Earth’s rotation for three days, citing the "three days of
darkness" predicted in the Bible.

Some
of the Nibiru researchers also cite the prophecies of Edgar Cayce who
predicted that we would soon suffer monumental Earth changes and a pole
shift, even though he did not attribute them to anything as specific as
a visiting planet. And, of course, the much-analyzed Mayan calendar is
said to set the "end of world" in December, 2012.

Astronomers
and other scientists who would seem to be in a position to know such
things have made no announcements about the approach of any
planet-sized body. Apparently, they have not detected anything of the
kind. Those who believe Nibiru is approaching, however, say that
scientists do know all about it and are just covering it up.

As with any such predictions, time will tell.

reasons why i love you

angelbetz — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 09:44:24 +0000

reasons why im deeply in love with you…

1. you make me smile
2. you show me how special i am
3. you say you love me everytime, in the mall, sa jeep, sa kalsada…kahit kaharap friends ko at friends mo.
4. you take care of me, i remember all those times you took care of me
5. you never shouted at me even if at times i nag you or curse you
6. for understanding my shortcomings
7. for hugging me always
8. for kissing my forehead when im angry and telling me "tama na po pls guin"
9. for nver letting me go
10. for following me when i walk out, im sorry
11. for fighting for me
12. for being my biggest fan, pag nagtop ako sa school anjan ka sinasabing, "ang galing naman", pag nagpaint ako lagi mong sinasabi "ang ganda naman"…for always making me feel beautiful, for telling me everyday that im beautiful…thank you…
13. for showing me the things i never realized before
14. for teaching me about house chores..hehe…pinaglaba kita! pinagluto kita…pinaghugas na kta ng plates…marunong na ako…thnks
15. for giving me stuffed animals, and naming them..si yabu, si venven, si nueve, si mishu…hehe…
16. for always making me happy
17. for being my sponge when i cry…
18. for hugging me when im down
19. for cooking for me, yaan mo pag bmalik ka d2, pagluluto kita
20. for being my love, my soulmate…my penguin…

do you remember why i chose guin…kng bakit un ung tawagan natin?

coz

penguins...when they meet the one they love, they never let go…no matter what

i love you…and im sorry for all the things that had hurt you…mahal kita erish…

24 days till our anniv…it’s amazing how we traversed the road together….no turning back now..i wanna spend eternity with you.

if we are meant to be, we are meant to be…

hold on and everything will be ok, i love you…

articles

angelbetz — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 12:27:29 +0000

i made these for the audition for the college paper, i hope it’ll pass…the 2nd article was from a previous blog, i just edited some parts…

Article 1:

LET
US BE INTELLECTUALS: boost English competence

Living
in a country where intelligence becomes an estranged word, and the
intellectuals are in a stage of near peril due to uncontrolled instances of
plagiarism, intellectual stealing, lack of government funding and denied
existence in the pedestal of acknowledgement; we simply depreciate from our
evolutionary ladder, denied good mental assimilation via education and simply
be brain drained.

Facts and facts alone can attest to
this dilemma this nation is facing. The

Philippines

was once publicized as one of the best
English-speaking nations in the world, but over the years, English proficiency
has been in quick decline amongst Filipinos. And I don’t just mean the occasional grammatical and
typographical errors. I mean badly constructed sentences and the failure to
form organized reports. The domination of the Filipinos in the English tongue
is now in the brim of becoming a myth, hence nearing danger. Nearby Asian
countries which have deliberately assumed blunt actions to study the English
language are now catching up and have even overhauled the

Philippines

We
can still redeem that almost lost glory in English ability if we take action
with certainty. The quality of education the students receive depends largely
upon the skill and competence of the teachers; hence, any effort to resolve the
English proficiency crisis in the

Philippines

must start with the teachers. In 2004, it
was stated that English must be the medium of instruction in all institutions.
Thus, with a good foundation of English teachers and more effective way of
teaching English would lead to a group of intelligent and proficient English
speakers.

Aside from the involvement of
teachers, one major fact that we need to consider is the effect of urbanization
i.e. emergence of communication via emails, cellular phones, chat and two-way
radios. Due to the demand of a fast paced life, people do their daily routines
in the easiest way possible. Texting for one is an example of this. Since it
only limits the person’s message to hundreds of characters, it mandates people
to shortcut every word and sentence they compose. This directs the person to
limit what he is saying. Sentence composition and spelling of words are now
altered to a demoted level of standards. Students are not as good in English
like the students 20 years back. This made them insensitive to the use of right
grammar and sentence construction. Their English vocabulary is poor and limited
to just simple words.

Quality education is primarily
the obligation of the government. However, this obligation is not fully
rendered to the students. Schools lack enough books and resources to facilitate
optimum learning. Education is expensive and not all are fortunate to even step
in an educational institution. This predicament lingers among poor families and
it will continue to linger not until proper action is taken not only by the
government but also the private citizens. Simple concern towards these unfortunate
individuals is a big thing and it will help in the eradication of being branded
as a poorly educated country.

People say that the country can
live without English, and it would be better to use the national tongue. This
is true yet we need to take considerations. The economy mainly uses this
language as well as business transactions with other countries as it is the
universal language. But have you thought that if learning it is hard for us,
then unlearning it must take up double effort. It is a part of our life, our
mere existence. It helps nations to communicate and work together, it unites
countries and bridges the gap of diversity to take it to a unified level of
relationship. Let us learn English and be intellectuals.

Article
2

WOMENEAUTY: narcissism 1 TAB
OD FOR A LIFETIME

classification:
self-esteem booster

indications:
self-pity; inferiority complex, insecurity, bad image about self, anorexia,
bulimia, altered body image, imitation of others.

dose: 1
tab OD for a lifetime or PRN when you feel down and ugly

WARNING: NARCISSISM CAN BE ADDICTING,
OVERDOSE IS FATAL.

NARCISSICM ISN’T BAD OR A SIN.
IT’S

A
WAY

TO BOOST OUR SELF-ESTEEM AND A MEANS TO SOMEHOW MAKE US FEEL WANTED,
ACKNOWLEDGED AND NOTICED. IT’S A MENTALITY THAT WOULD MAKE WOMEN NOT INSECURE
ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE. IT’S A REVENUE TO ERADICATE SELF-PITY OR INFERIORITY
COMPLEX.

HOW CAN IT HELP? IT WOULD DEFINITELY BE A
METHOD TO BE ABLE TO LOVE ONESELF AMIDST CRITICISMS FROM OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL
AS HOW OTHERS BRAND US. IT WOULD FACILITATE THE MATERIALIZATION OF CONFIDENCE
AS A CONSTANT COMPANION TOWARDS THE RUNWAY OF LIFE, THE REAL WORLD. THE POINT
IS, NO ONE IS BORN UGLY OR FAT. BEING PRETTY ISN’T ABOUT HOW SKINNY YOU ARE,
HOW FINE YOUR COMPLEXION IS OR HOW YOUR

HAIR

FALLS

ASTOUNDINGLY. IT ISN’T ABOUT HOW MAGAZINES
OR TELEVISION DICTATES IT TO BE. BEAUTY ISN’T ABOUT LOOKING LIKE CELEBRITIES OR
BEING LIKE THEM. IT ISN’T ABOUT BEING TALL OR HAVING STRAIGHT HAIR LIKE WHAT
SHAMPOO MODELS HAVE. IT ISN’T ABOUT WEARING WHAT IS ‘IN’ OR FASHIONABLE. SOMETIMES
WOMEN GET BLINDED BY THE SOCIAL STIGMA THAT SURROUNDS THEM, THAT IF THEY WEAR
THIS, THEY WILL BE LIKE THAT. IT’S NOT ABOUT, "I WANNA LOOK LIKE HER"
OR "I WANT TO BE AS POPULAR AS PARIS HILTON". IT’S NOT ABOUT HAVING A
MIRROR ALL THE TIME AND LOOK AT YOURSELF 24/7; IT’S NOT ABOUT ASKING PEOPLE FOR
COMMENTS ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK. BEAUTY ISN’T ABOUT WEARING SEXY STUFF, SHOWING OFF
YOUR BODY PARTS AND LETTING MEN DISRESPECT YOU. IT ISN’T ABOUT BEING SKINNY. SEXINESS
IS HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF, NOT HOW YOU LOSE WEIGHT OR HOW YOUR HIP BONE AND
CHEEK BONE BECOME EVIDENT.

THE MEDIA PER SE HAD INFLUENCED THE PEOPLE
ON WHAT WE PERCEIVE BEAUTY TO BE. THEY
TELL THAT FAT IS ULGY, DARK SKINNED IS OFF, HEIGHT MATTERS AND HAIR SHOULD BE
LIKE THIS AND THAT. WELL, I WANT TO TELL YOU GUYS OF ONE THING. FAT ISN’T UGLY,
DARK ISN’T UGLY, BIG ISN’T UGLY, SMALL ISN’T UGLY, CURLY HAIR ISN’T UGLY. BEAUTY
IS SKIN DEEP. THE REAL BEAUTY A WOMAN HAS IS HOW SHE CARRIES HERSELF, HOW SHE
SHOWS OFF HER PERSONALITY, HER TRUE PERSONALITY. IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING KIND AND
HAVING A GOOD BEHAVIOR. IT’S HOW SHE IS RESPECTED AND ACKNOWLEDGED BY OTHER
PEOPLE AND HOW SHE RESPECT OTHERS AS WELL. SO IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU YOU’RE UGLY?
DONT BELIEVE THEM, IT’S NOT THEIR RIGHT TO TELL YOU OF WHOM YOU ARE,

TIPS TO BE PRETTY (SKIN DEEP)

* STOP IMITATING
OTHERS, BE YOURSELF, IMITATION IS SUICIDE
* HAVE YOUR OWN STYLE, WAY OF TALKING AND ACTING
*DONT OVERDO YOURSELVES PLEASE…
*DONT SPEAK AS IF YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, JUST BE YOURSELF
*ADMIT IF IT’S YOUR FAULT, THEN APOLOGIZE
*IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THAT THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE, ASSESS
YOURSELF, IF IT’S TRUE, CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, IF IT’S NOT, ASK HIM WHAT’S HIS
PROBLEM…
*DONT TRY SO HARD TO FIT IN, BE YOURSELF, MAYBE BY THEN THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU
WILL LOVE YOU MORE
*RESPECT OTHERS REGARDLESS OF AGE, STATUS AND ABILITY.
*BE GENEROUS, DONT BE SELFISH
*DONT THINK ABOUT YOURSELF ALONE, THERE’S BILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD
ASIDE FROM YOU
*DONT FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM AND DON;T BE ASHAMED OF THAT
*THE WORLD DOESN’T ONLY REVOLVE AROUND CLOTHES, BAGS, SHOES, GADGETS, MAKE UP
AND HOT GUYS, THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN MATERIAL THINGS.
*REFLECT EVERYNIGHT…WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WRONG THAT DAY, AND THE NEXT DAY? DONT
DO IT AGAIN…MAKE IT A HABIT, BELIEVE ME, YOU’LL BE A BETTER PERSON IN THE
FUTURE.

how painful can this get?

angelbetz — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 11:40:30 +0000

the two tortures in a woman’s life is giving birth and the monthly suicide…menstruation.

how painful can this get?

i have to go through different ways just to ease the pain i.e. knee chest, squatting and even fetal positions, warm compress and the best way: sleeping so as to forget how painful my period is.

alternative:
MYDOL (but i don’t want to drink meds when im having my period so as not to have tolerance, baka habang tumatagal mgging dependent na ako sa gmot saka baka pataas ng pataas ang dosage)

hate hate hate my periods….(ouch!)

im just raging…haha

easy to give solutions when it’s not our problem

angelbetz — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 11:38:07 +0000

"It’s
easy to suggest a quick solution when you don’t understand the
underlying cause or just how deep the wound really is, the first step
towards a real cure is to know what exactly is the disease to begin
with…"

—— grey’s anatomy

In
life we often see things in a blurred setting, wherein blaming is
inevitable. When someone asks us some advices, we talk a lot, tell
things we think can help. But with these advices, we do not seem to
realize one thing, "do i really know what I’m talking about?"

I’ve
experienced many encounters with friends. They ask for my advice. Yet i
always say things as if I know everything. In love matters, I mix
reality with logic and logic with experience. But in the first place, I
do not know what love really is.

We often give advices to others without understanding what the cause really is.

Friend1:’"Girl, niloloko niya ako"
Friend2: "ibreak mo na"
Friend1: "mahal ko eh"
Friend 2: "eh ano? niloloko ka naman niya"
Friend 1: "ano gagawin ko?"
Friend 2: "mkipagbreak ka tpos hanap ka ng iba, dmi dyan no"

It’s
so easy for us to conclude and suggest solutions to others’ problems
without weighing the situation, without putting ourselves in their
shoes and realize how they really feel.

We must see two sides of
the story, and we must see things in a clear vision. We must know what
the cause really is in order to know how to solve it.

advising should be like this:

Friend1: "Niloloko nya ako"
Friend2: "Sure ka ba?
Friend1: "Ata, kasi may kasama syang iba"
Friend2: "Ata? kausapin mo siya dapat to be sure at dapat may evidence ka"
Friend1: "Paano kng oo?"
Friend2: "ang tanong mahal mo ba?"
Friend1: "sympre"
Friend2:
"Ganito yan, if you love the person, have an open communication, talk
to him, ask him everything you want to know, para open book kau sa
isa’t isa, para hindi one way street ung love"
Friend1: "Paano pag snabi nyang di na nya ako mahal?"
Friend2: " Pakawalan mo girl, selfless love is true love"
Friend1: "Ang hirap girl"
Friend2 :"Ikaw, kung ano ang nafefeel mong dapat, dun ka, im just here to guide you."
Friend1: "Ok ill think about it, thanks ha"
Friend2: "anytime"

Are you a true friend or someone who thinks she is?

selective mutism

angelbetz — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 12:27:43 +0000

selective mutism

instead of killing myself, (i still fear death and the thought of being in a world of fire and suffering -hell that is), i chose a less evil, but still, a means to make them realize they’re doing wrong —- selective mutism.

for my 20 years of life, all i did was impress them, make them proud and do whatever they wish. I studied hard and worked my ass off just to comply with their aspirations and dreams of having a PERFECT daughter. It was frustrating whenever i got an 8/10 mark in my quizzes, coz they’ll surely freak out…

"You must study harder, an 8 is not a 10"

when i finally got to elementary level, the competition grew more complex, i have to double my effort, coz my mom works for that university, and when im good, she would surely be acknowledged…damn life! first honor mula simula hanggang mag graduate…yet they were never satisfied…they placed me in an exclusive school where my sister and borther went into, she was valedictorian so i had to triple my effort to comply again with their "requirements"

i never experienced the typical high school life scenarios…courting, kilig moments and shallow love happiness…i was trapped in a fat body, which finds happiness and satisfaction in studying, being a dork and all that less the glasses. All my life i have been manipulated, doing whatever they desire, doing what ever they say. I never decided for myself, i never became a better person. i was stagnant, in a statis…not knowing what the real world can offer me.

and then there was this favoritism issue…wherein im here doing all they want, doing whatever they desire, and yet they never acknowledged me, they never loved me the same way they love my sister and my younger brother…it was a painful endurance on my part, swallowing all hurt and anguish from what i feel, i see and i hear…from them, my own parents.

i never felt the love i wanted all my life. i wanted to go to a good school in college, to be able to be properly prepared for the real life. but i was not given a choice, i was allowed to take entrance examinations in the schools i want to enter, but i had no other choice but go to the school i was in since elementary. Pampalubag loob lang pala iyon. I was frustrated yet i accepted what they wanted, coz i took into consideration the expenses…libre ako sa Ub, sa SLU o UP hindi. iyon nalang ung inisip ko…nakakahiya kila mama kung magpupumilit akong magaral sa mahal. But the ironic thing here is, my sister graduated from SLU…and yes, my younger brother is in UP diliman right now. Ang saya diba? napaka FAIR ng buhay ko.

it was lately when i found myself…i bloomed, even people i knew before didn’t recognize me…i felt pretty..for the first time in my life, i felt pretty. since i was a child my parents told me im ugly, im fat…they would always make fun of me in parties and family reunions, not knowing their "daughter" is hurt. Dinala ko ung hanggang paglaki ko. It was hard for me to be confident enough to face the cruel world when my parents and family themselves criticize me, discriminate me…and now that i am pretty, they say malandi na ako…how unfair can they get???

and then when i was 19, i met my true love. the person who showed me im wanted and loved. who showed me that i am lovable. who made me feel the love i was longing for since a child. i told my parents the truth for i do not want to lie to them or keep something from them. But they never understood me, i am 20 years old!!! i know what is right from wrong! i am not a child anymore that they can manipulate any time they want. alam ko ginagawa ko, pero bakit sa akin parang napakalaki ng galit niyo? nung nagkabf si ate shean, 26 lang siya, pero ok lang sa inyo, may gf si tots nung high school pa lang siya, si kuya axe may gf ngaun, pero bakit sa akin, ayaw niyo? do you want me to stay miserable and lonely all my life? complying to all your wishes? robot ba ako na kailangang utusan bago gagalaw? do you realize that you’re putting me into a prison, a place like hell…one thing’s for sure…IM FED UP! im fed up in being this goody good girl who always follow what you want, im fed up being the "not loved child", im fed up crying!!!

bakit kung kailan ako masaya, hindi nila ako naiintindihan…

all i ask is trust…for them to trust their daughter, if they consider me as such

and then here…im mute…mute and sad…mute and hungry…mute and frustrated…mute and i think im losing my sanity…

pagod na akong magmahal sa inyo, dahil kahit minsan hindi niyo naappreciate ginagawa ko…kahit minsan ma, daddy…hindi niyo ako minahal…=’(

change

angelbetz — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 08:49:30 +0000

change is inevitable, we say that we can’t pass the same spot in a river twice, coz time and life is a continuous cycle…everything’s changing, we all change. and in myself, i know i changed…but in a good way i guess. however a friend a while ago said….let me quote that….

"napansin ko bets and laki ng pinagbago mo…"

i didn’t know how to react and i felt bad when i heard this…is it because i learned to like take care of myself? is it because i learned to dress ok and lose some weight? is it because finally, i learned to be extrovert and talk to people? is it because i am not as quiet as before? or as naive back then?

yeah, i changed, but on what i see and i hear from people, i changed for the better, and the thing that this particular friend told me, well…is insulting and hurtful in some aspects…from all people, it came from her, my friend. i am still bets, i am still that sweet and caring girl, smart and humble girl, funny and cheerful girl you met 3 years ago…im still her…i changed they way i dress or the way i look, i changed from being an introvert into an extrovert, but hey, im still bets, the girl you loved before. and if i could defend myself about this, i would…coz i know in myself, i am still bets. a little louder this time, a little sophisticated and a little brave to fight for herself…

i know my friends would defend me coz they know me well, they know how i became who i am now and what made me like this…i am still me…modified in some ways, but i am still bets…and for one thing? it’s not me who changed a lot, it’s you…you’re in denial for your changes that you see me as such…you changed…not the same person i met 3 years back..i hate to tell this, but i love you more when you were still you…and now that i can barely recognize you, the love for that friend i met 3 years back is slowly fading…dont let that disappear please…if you know about this fact, please, bring your old self back before it’s too late…

NARCISSICM: 1 tab OD for a lifetime

angelbetz — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 08:34:52 +0000

NARCISSICM ISN’T BAD OR A SIN…

IT’S A WAY TO BOOST OUR SELF-ESTEEM

A WAY TO SOMEHOW MAKE US FEEL WANTED, AND ACKNOWLEDGED AND NOTICED…

IT’S A MENTALITY THAT WOULD MAKE WOMEN NOT INSECURE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE….

IT’S A MEANS TO ERADICATE SELF-PITY OR INFERIORITY COMPLEX…

NO ONE IS BORN UGLY OR FAT…

BEING PRETTY ISN’T ABOUT HOW SKINNY YOU ARE OR HOW FINE YOUR COMPLEXION IS…OR HOW YOUR HAIR FALLS SWIFTLY…

IT ISN’T ABOUT HOW MAGAZINES OR TELEVISION DICTATES IT TO BE….

BEAUTY ISN’T ABOUT LOOKING LIKE CELEBRITIES OR BEING LIKE THEM….

IT ISN’T ABOUT BEING TALL OR HAVING STRAIGHT HAIR LIKE WHAT SHAMPOO MODELS HAVE…

IT ISN’T ABOUT WEARING WHAT IS ‘IN’ OR FASHIONABLE…

IT’S STUPID …COPYING STYLES THAT SHOWBIZ CELEBRITIES DICTATE…IT’S NOT FASHION, IT’S STUPIDITY…IT’S INSECURITY

IT’S NOT ABOUT, "I WANNA LOOK LIKE HER" OR "I WANT HER BREASTS AND ASS"

IT’S
NOT ABOUT HAVING A MIRROR ALL THE TIME AND LOOK AT YOURSELF 24/7, IT’S
NOT ABOUT ASKING PEOPLE FOR COMMENTS ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK….

BEAUTY
ISN’T ABOUT WEARING SEXY STUFF, SHOWING OFF YOUR BODIES, GAD,
LADIES…THAT’S STUPID, PATHETIC…YOUR MAKING GUYS DISRESPECT YOU…

IT ISN’T ABOUT BEING SKINNY…SEXINESS IS HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF, NOT HOW YOU LOSE WEIGHT….

THE
MASS MEDIA BLINDED US OF WHAT BEAUTY IS…THEY TELL THAT FAT IS UGLY,
DARK SKINNED IS OFF, HEIGHT MATTERS AND HAIR SHOULD BE LIKE THIS AND
THAT.

WELL, I WANT TO TELL YOU GUYS ONE THING…

FAT ISN’T UGLY, DARK ISN’T UGLY, BIG ISN’T UGLY, SMALL ISN’T UGLY, CURLY HAIR ISN’T UGLY…

BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP…IT ISN’T ABOUT ALL THOSE CRAP…

THE
REAL BEAUTY A WOMEN POSSESSES IS HOW SHE CARRIES HERSELF, HOW SHE SHOW OFF
HER PERSONALITY, HER TRUE PERSONALITY…IT’S ALL ABOUT BEING KIND AND
HAVING A GOOD BEHAVIOR…IT’S HOW SHE IS RESPECTED AND ACKNOWLEDGED BY
OTHER PEOPLE…AND HOW SHE RESPECT OTHERS AS WELL…

SO IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU YOU’RE UGLY?

DONT
BELIEVE THEM, IT’S NOT THEIR RIGHT TO TELL YOU OF WHO YOU ARE, THEY
DON’T KNOW YOU…BESIDES, IF THEY SHOW THOSE ILL-MANNERS? THEN YOU’VE
PROVEN THAT THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE UGLY…UGLY INSIDE AND IT WILL
EVENTUALLY REFLECT OUTSIDE…

SHOW THE WORLD OF YOUR BEAUTY GIRL

narcissicm

classification: self-esteem booster

indications: self-pity; inferiority complex, insecurity, bad image about self, anorexia, bulimia, altered body image, imitation of others.

dose: 1 tab OD for a lifetime or when you feel down and ugly

WARNING: NARCISSISM CAN BE ADDICTING, OVERDOSE IS FATAL, JUST HAVE A BIT OK?

contraindications: not to conceited, selfish and self-centered individuals- might cause sedation, hallucinations and dizziness; not to bitches and sluts coz it’ll make their heads go big (i.e. hydrocephalus), not to too innocent people (i.e. lack of knowledge secondary to naiveness, haha) - might cause overdose

TIPS TO BE PRETTY: (SKIN DEEP)

* STOP IMITATING OTHERS, BE YOURSELF, IMITATION IS SUICIDE

* HAVE YOUR OWN STYLE, WAY OF TALKING AND ACTING

*DONT OVERDO YOURSELVES PLEASE.

*DONT SPEAK AS IF YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, JUST BE YOURSELF

*ADMIT IF IT’S YOUR FAULT, THEN APOLOGIZE

*IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THAT THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE, ASSESS YOURSELF, IF IT’S TRUE, CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, IF IT’S NOT, ASK HIM WHAT’S HIS PROBLEM…

*DONT TRY SO HARD TO FIT IN, BE YOURSELF, MAYBE BY THEN THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU WILL LOVE YOU MORE

*RESPECT OTHERS REGARDLESS OF AGE, STATUS AND ABILITY.

*BE GENEROUS, DONT BE SELFISH

*DONT THINK ABOUT YOURSELF ALONE, THERE’S BILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ASIDE FROM YOU

*DONT FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM AND DONT BE ASHAMED OF THAT

*THE WORLD DOESN’T ONLY REVOLVE AROUND CLOTHES, BAGS, SHOES, GADGETS, MAKE UP AND HOT GUYS, THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN MATERIAL THINGS.

*REFLECT EVERY NIGHT…WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WRONG THAT DAY, AND THE NEXT DAY? DONT DO IT AGAIN…MAKE IT A HABIT, BELIEVE ME, YOU’LL BE A BETTER PERSON IN THE FUTURE.

(WOMENEAUTY - bets)